I came across a book of Osho not a while ago,
And it said, that if you don't love yourself, you can't truely love others.
I always knew loving myself is very important.
People aways told me, that if I don't love myself, nobody will.
And I know it's true.
I guess I just needed something to put it all together.
Anyway,
For a long time now, i've been asking people for help.
They all tell me - respect yourself.
HOW?!?!?
I don't even know what respect is. I don't respect anybody.
They say, love the god inside you.
It doesn't help.
They say I have a lot of good in me.
I can't see it.
But i desperatly need this. One of the things to make me less miserable.
----------------------
So what I ask you is this.
Is there any instructions?
Anything I can do?
Something I can start from?
Something to help a girl that finds nothing good in herself?
Nothing worthy of loving.

A few tips that help it is to do the things that you would have done for someone else like someone important.
Instead of putting good clothes for someone important wear good clothes for yourself.
If for someone important you would have cleaned your house and made a good meal, do that for yourself.
Do you get the point ?
Now, chance is that you will do probably nothing.
Use the Timeboxing discussed in that article to overcome your inertia http://www.dexterity.com/articles/overcoming-procrastination.htm
If your internia is very strong, you can try to work with someone that will kick your butt if you do nothing

I know a few people that talk like you and I have acted as butt kicker for them...

When you choose to feel good you are not dependent on other people acting in certain ways to make you feel good. Before you can attract people who will support, appreciate, and acknowledge you, you must choose to do that for yourself.

Every single statement you make about yourself, to a friend or even to yourself, becomes a truth. You project energy every moment. If you want a better future, speak of it, picture it, say it to others. Only you can create for yourself what you want. It is the greatest power, honor, and gift you have ever been given.

You should also try to accept the things that other have to offer to you, like love, frienship, etc....

Dear Chuchi, 2 ways of achieving this come to my mind:

1) go to some NewAge or Osho seminars. Usually you'll find there an experienced leader and good-wishing croud that will try to help you. Use their support to find love for yourself and get used to it.

2) Use the technique that Klaus describes in "Money is Love" book. Tell yourself and us what exactly you want. What you want to feel? And begin thinking and writing about it. (Not about what you don't want. If you think and write about what you don't want - you'll keep getting what you don't want.)

Your goals

So what you want? To feel that you love yourself? To feel that you respect yourself? To feel that others love you? To feel that others respect you? To feel that you love and respect others? Do you feel better when you read these statements?

As you may see, I'm just re-wording what Klaus wrote in his "Money is Love -- Some things are worth believing in" book. For you right now the things worth believing are:
I feel love for myself. I love myself.
I feel respect for myself. I respect myself.
Others feel love for me. Others feel respect for me.

Read or re-read "MOney is Love" book and while reading -- apply it to your goals. Like Klaus describes making himself feel foreign feeling of owning 3.6 million -- spend some minutes finding the feeling and experiencing feeling of loving yourself.

========
So what I'm saying is:
-- you can work from outside in (go to a seminar)
-- or you work from inside out: first experience what you want and then let all the events, circumstances, coincidences, the timing, people -- to fall in line with your desire.
==========

Of course, both ways (and especcially the way 2) require some persistence from yourself. Use some tools in helping yourself to be persistent in this. Like write each day here in Forum about what you want. Or make a short movie for yourself (and maybe others on Youtube.com) about "What I want to feel". You won't be able to hold the smile off your face when saying "I want to feel I love myself dearly!"

We thought that making some short youtube.com clips on love and Klaus books would help us to spread our message better. Today I'll write about it more.

Thank you two vey much.
I will really try all of those.
But i don't quite understand, how does writing it, and telling it will make it reality?
It's like self - hypnosis or something?
-
Yes, i though about it, though i doubt i'll find those seminars in israel.
Even if i do, i need money first.
Just like i want to go and try the "rebirthing" technique,
But it's all money.
A job is oh so needed
-
I love myself!!!!!

Chuchi,
A quick suggestion, which I ran across in a book, is to ask the angels of Grace to love and comfort you. Say out loud something like:

"I now call on the Angel of Grace to love and comfort me"

Say this and try to feel energy moving through you, you should feel something. Say it several times a day.

Perhaps feeling the presense of angels will help you....it's helped me.

Well, here we come to the important point. I know from my personal experience that focusing my attention on something brings it into my reality. It's how magic works.

How you can find it for yourself? here are exersises:

Ex. 1

1. First try to complain to somebody about anything for 1 minute. And at the same time look at what is going on inside of you -- at your feelings, at your mood. Make notes.
2. Then try to say good things or compliment something (a building, a web page, a pet) for 1 min. and look at the feelings. Make notes.
3. Notice the difference.

Ex. 2

1. Make sad face and go have a walk. Notice your feelings. Make notes.
2. Make a light smile and go have a walk. Notice your feelings. Make notes.
3. Compare your notes. Has anything happened with you during both walks?

===

As for the money, they don't always want money from you. There are groups that meet in each other's homes, etc. Begin looking at it -- and you will find plenty of this stuff and plenty of new friends. Sure thing!

Hi Chuchi!
You can read Russian. Recently I've seen 2 entries in my friends' blogs on how every day, every morning one chooses bliss or suffering. You might like it.

Thanx.
I did like it.
So, if i understood correctly, i just need to say to myself, each morming,
That it's gonna be a good day?I'm going to enjoy it, and everything's great?
-
I guess i'll have to write it on the wall with a black marker,
With huge letters.
My memory is soo bad reacently, that it worries me.
And my will too.. but that's an old thing

Chuchi, how is your painting or designing goes?
You are making great graphic design, like your avatar, like your site. Do you keep doing anything like this?

And why is that? Would you like to share with us?

Well.. if i knew why, itd probably be easier.
It's just very bad.
I don't remember my childhood.
I never did, as long as i remember myself.
Hm! that sounds right
Only little amount of flashbacks, and short unconnected scenes.
I write them down, to remember.
And now, i just forget everytihng.
Things people tell me, things i said,
People i saw, requests and promises.
It's like i'm living today and everything else just slips away.
---

http://chuchkit.deviantart.com/ here's my gallery, if ur interested.
----

Dear Chuchi, thanks for your openness!
Now I see, that writing down stuff maybe an answer for you.
Like how you wnat to feel.
Whether you want to smile a lot...
Whether you want to feel love to yourself.
You see the point?

So i just need to write things
I want, as if they are already a fact?
like "I'm happy" ?
-
That'll need a lot of paper

Chuchi -- was this forgeting things all your life or is it just for a year of so?

I liked a lot of your graphics design and I liked your pencil drawings of a funny elf girl and an elf woman...

I thouhgt that it would be neat:

1) if you would create some illustrations for Klaus Joehle books. We could use it on our site, and who knows? one day one of the publishers might want to buy it for the book! In Russia they already have hired an artist to do the illustrations - but I like what I see on your page too!

2) to create a slide show made from your drawings. Like "Hugs" slide show. We can make a video from it and post it on youtube.com as a video-answer to Free Hugs video.

Here is a scenario:
Drawing 1. A girl that looks like you sits on a bench a park.
2. She looks to the side -- she has heard something.
3. This girl is looking at a guy that looks very unhappy. (View from behind her.)
4. Her face becomes energetic - she has decided somehtings. Her face on the whole page.
5. View from behind the guy -- the girl approaches him with a hand-made sign "Free Hugs"
6. She hugs him
7. Both happy. The guy leaves, the girl comes back to her bench. We see on the bench her backpack and a book "Living on Love -- The Messenger" by Klaus Joehle

It's preferably to make all the drawings in a "album" paper orientation (not in "portrait").

Also it would be nice to add some of your color things to the margins of this small slide-show. Also we can colors to the pencil drawings!

I think, it would be very cool! Could be a good start for a proffecional designer and a nice publicity for Klaus book.

Do you have an account of youtube.com ?

Ye, i've got one on youtube.
---

What does that mean?
---
I'll try my best, though bodies isn't my strong side.
---
The problem is i don't remember
Maybe i've been forgetting things always,
Maybe it's only since last year.
I just don't remember.
Closed circle, ha?

You did very nice drawings of female bodies!
And also very nice "head" drawings.
And after all it doesn't have to be absolutely perfect. Imperfection is very human!

Album orientation is this (like TV screen):
---------------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
---------------------------------

Portrait is this:

------------------------
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
------------------------

the thing with your memory:
1) maybe it's just a temporary thing connected to hormone rush you are supposed to go through right now
2) on the bigger scale it might be that you have set it up so that certain areas of life would be more open to yourself -- like art and stuff.