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Not feeling the love ..but feeling negative emotions
Tortue
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Joined: 25 Aug 2006
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Location: Valencia, Espańa
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This is my first post here, I feel the need to share my experience as I resonate with the content of this site, I post here I entry I did earlier on my blog.

Hope it helps some of you.

Some of you want to awaken the heart center and feel this indescribable feeling of soul love, however before you can get that experience you will have to face in many cases what I call your own negativity, imagine that up until now, your soul love, the love inside you was in a cocoon so you can’t feel it, your negativity is that cocoon and what is made of ?
When I started to awaken my heart center I couldn’t feel the love but I noticed that the more I worked with my heart center the more anger I will express in my daily life, in my case it was not big anger at the world , society or people, it was an almost invisible type of anger, I was more and more angry at the small things, for example not receive replies to my emails, the small stuffs. I figured out that may be if I cannot feel the love it is because my base feeling is made of anger and its friend frustation, can I feel love if I have more anger ?



So I meditated on my heart center and this anger in me, it was a deep seeded anger, I told to myself that I want to communicate with this part of myself that is the origin of my anger, then in my mind I perceived a little child about 6 or 7 years he was full anger and fears, he was kicking me with all his strength and being. I said to myself that’s my inner child I accept my inner child unconditionally , because my inner child represent the part of myself that I reject. I asked my inner child to show me the origin of the anger I saw a flash of many things but one thing I got it is that some of my anger is linked with my father abandoning my mother during the pregnancy , some of my anger is linked to past life, in fact I got too much information in that flash and I was under heavy emotions, so what I did is that I sent love to my past and to my inner child, I kept saying ‘I accept my inner child unconditionally’. At some point I could feel the love that I so wanted to feel it was mixed with anger, later the source of the anger revealed itself it was self-hatred, there I exploded in tears.

Many healers will tell you that most of their clients have some level of self-hatred, I think that it goes for most of the population. Now, when you awaken your heart center sooner or later you will have to face your own drama or issues liked to your heart center, there is a reason why your heart center is not fully open at this very moment. May be, you do not have anger like me, may be it is something else , I do not know It is for you to find out.
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Roberta
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Joined: 13 Sep 2005
Posts: 130
Location: Canada, Vancouver Island British Columbia
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Tortue

This is a very good piece I would like to collect personal stories
of peoples experiences and make a chapter for each category as in
Anger, Work, Home, Creating Things, and so on. This will help people a lot to work through things they might encounter on their way to that better life we all dream about.

I would like to use this you would need to give me permission if
you want to and then title it and add your name or a nick name if you
do not want your name used.You can also expand it if you like.
I cannot guaranty as a book that it will be published but it will be
available for a free download.

Send me your response to klausjoehle@hotmail.com

Klaus

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Tortue
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Joined: 25 Aug 2006
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Location: Valencia, Espańa
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Hi Klaus,



I think I will expand on it the other day I did a walk in the park and I was listening to a recording of your, where you talk about loving money. At some point, you mention that you didn’t really love money when I was listening to that recording then I figured out that in my case I have more negative thoughts about women than positive one.

In fact, most of my thoughts on women are negative or neutral. So I took a card and

I wrote ‘I love women unconditionally’ the morning 2 days ago, I sat for the first time

To experience the feeling of loving women unconditionally as you said not a love that is possessive or based on conditions. I didn’t find the feeling but a few minutes after the meditation a large chunk of anger emerged. The memories , I had memory of my mother spitting in my mouth when I was like 4 or 5 years old, I had memory of a schoolteacher who forced me to write from my right hand when I’m left handed, I had memory of Peggy that little girl I was attracted to who never paid attention to me in class. I had memory of that other schoolteacher who took my small electronic game and never gave it back to me. All those painful women from my childhood, I think I have serious work to do on my heart center. I did the meditation to experience unconditional love for women again this morning this is something I do separately from the love meditation where I work directly with the chakras and once again after

the meditation the anger showed up again, there is a thin feeling that say ‘be realistic do you really want to love people like this, look what they have done to you!’ and then the memories show up.



I will post my progress with this journey I embarked, I think that a lot of men have similar issues with women, they want to hide behind a system - like radiating love for instance or all those seduction courses available on the internet but then there is deep seeded issues to work on. There is a reason why a guy is shy with women or he is afraid to approach them .



Tortue
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Not feeling the love ..but feeling negative emotions
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