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| Lovesickness |
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Der Monolith
active user
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If you only take love/energy from people, and dont send energy in return, you are an energy vampire.
Very many people are energy Vampires. If you send out positive energy, and dont drain other peoples energy, they will automatically like you, and search your company. About energy Vampires (which is in my opinion a very interesting concept to understanding social dynamics): (Taken from Ideagasms.net) ideaGasms(R) - Welcome To The Front Lines Of Dating, S E X, And Relationship Consciousness. "Energy Vampires" by Stephane Hemon The main problem that people have when it comes to getting their love life together is that they GIVE AWAY THEIR POWER. Most people give away their power to a certain extent, and this article contains the blueprint that you'll need to become aware of WHOM you're giving your power away to and HOW you're giving it away. Awareness is the key, because until you become aware of something, you are on auto-pilot. So what is an Energy Vampire? Well, they don't usually suck your blood; what they do is they suck your ENERGY. Chances are high that your life is filled with these types of people. My guess is that you'll see your parents in these descriptions, you'll see some of your friends, lovers, and perhaps even yourself. Actually, MOST humans are "energy vamps", it's just a matter of degree. And with all "personal problems", AWARENESS is the only cure. When dealing with an Energy Vampire, you can feel it instantly. You will get a feeling in the Solar-Plexus Chakra (in the "upper-belly" region), which is linked to our emotional body and central nervous system. (Otherwise known as a "gut feeling" or an intuition.) There are 5 main types of Energy Vampires that I am presently aware of - - The POOR ME - The Aloof - The Interrogator - The Intimidator - The Boaster and Bragger These people usually leave us feeling tired; they drain our energy and self-esteem. And worse, we cannot get them out of our heads afterwards! We tend to re-play the conversation in our head, telling ourselves that we should have said "this" or "that" instead... Energy Vampire #1 - The "POOR ME" These people drain your energy by complaining, and sometimes implying that you are somehow responsible for their troubles. When in the presence of this person, you will find yourself feeling guilty, even though deep down you know that their life challenges aren't your fault. You'll feel as though you need to defend against the idea that you're not giving or doing enough for this person. Many people use their misfortunes in life to gain sympathy. They want to talk about the suffering they've endured, or about the mistreatment of their parents, or about their illness, or some other deprivation or failure. These people see the world as UNFAIR, and avoid taking responsibility. And, they want YOU to hear all about it! They focus on negative energy in order to STEAL energy (attention, sympathy, pity, etc.). When something traumatic happens, it's okay to obtain support. With time, you heal and learn the lessons that are involved (assuming that you can take responsibility). But when people use their life's suffering as a way to gain pity and attention (YOUR energy), you need to learn how to shield from that. When dealing with a "poor me", the best way to help them is to see if they can help themselves. Are they willing to look at the role that THEY have played in creating their own reality? Can they take response-ability? If they can't handle the truth, if they are too stuck in their heads to view themselves objectively and without getting defensive, I have learned to simply tell them that I am BUSY. Because the truth is that we ARE too busy to have our energy drained by people with the victim mentality. Energy Vampire #2 - The "Aloof" These people act emotionally distant, usually in response to having had overbearing or controlling parents. They are withdrawn, and see the world as overwhelming and threatening. They are often distrustful and suspicious of others motives, and people describe them as being "shy" or even "snobby". Someone who is aloof is PRETENDING that they don't care what others think. It is a FAKE social mask, designed to give them the "upper hand". On a more global scale, they are the "innocent" or apathetic bystanders who take little or no responsibility in shaping our world. You know you're in the presence of an Aloof person when you find yourself doing all the talking, and asking question after question, trying to get them to come out of their shell. They will contribute very little to the conversation. This is exactly where they want you, because it gives them a feeling of control. This is how they get attention, validation, and your energy. You'll probably feel inadequate or "less than", as if something is inherently wrong with you. Again, you'll feel discomfort in the Solar-Plexus Chakra (upper belly). If you complain, they will often just give you the SILENT TREATMENT. MOST of today's so-called "attractive women" are aloof, and knowing how to spot them, and training them to open up, is crucial. A lot of guys ask me, "Where do you draw the line between working on your "game" versus just walking away from somebody who is no good for you? How do you know for certain that it wasn't your "game" (or lack thereof)?" Most of the time when they ask me this, I know that they're dealing with a woman who is quite aloof. Personally, I draw the line when a woman makes me feel insignificant or un-worthy of her time. Do you have high self-esteem? Good! You may now say the words, "It's not ME, it's HER." Energy Vampire #3 - The "Interrogator" Interrogators used to be my personal "pet peeve" when I didn't know how to handle them. It is because they ask questions that aren't sincere - they really DO NOT want to hear your views, but instead, they use questions to BREAK DOWN your views and try to make you doubt yourself. Interrogators are (initially) difficult to detect, because they are perfectionists; These people see the life as a competitive GAME and they are quite masterful when it comes to manipulating others. Their philosophy? "Life is just a game - You either play by the rules, or you're a loser." They see the world as Win/Lose instead of Win/Win. It's been said that the greatest illusion of "Satan" lied in his ability to make people believe he didn't exist. That's a great metaphor for explaining what Interrogators do to people, because when you spot an Interrogator and try to gently point out what he or she is doing, they too will pretend that they are innocent and that this heavily ingrained and entirely OBVIOUS pattern of behavior does not exist. Then they will turn around and casually remark that there is something wrong with YOU. They'll go, "Why would you say that? Why are you so PARANOID, huh?" (Notice they are not really asking a question, but rather, making a statement about you.) Or they will accuse you of being "too sensitive"... as if *sensitivity* was a bad thing! Interrogators undermine other people's reality, usually by making insincere comments (such as a "neg" or subtle put-down) or by asking lots of rhetorical questions, and trying to find the weak points in what people are saying and doing. MANY of the top "seduction community guru's" are simply INTERROGATORS. This is why they "play the game" and have all sorts of complicated "chess moves" and strategies for interacting with women. They have a HIDDEN AGENDA. (There is nothing wrong with having "game" insofar as you aren't actively lying to people IMO.) Crooked sales people, lawyers, politicians, and other business criminals are often Interrogators as well. They are very clever people, but "clever" doesn't impress me. SINCERITY does; now THAT takes real courage and Heart. Interestingly, they probably had ALOOF PARENTS. Aloof parents often "create" interrogator children. It's the child's way of getting the parent to pay attention to them. Interrogators also offer a lot of "unsolicited advice". They want to tell you what you "should" and "shouldn't" do, be, think, and feel, even though you didn't ask for any advice. So they can be quite arrogant! They ask a lot of rhetorical questions, and often play "Devil's advocate". But, the questions they ask are not questions at all! It is their attempt to break down your reality in the form of negative presuppositions about you. Do you know what a "pointed question" is? Here is an example - "Why would you do/say/think/be/choose that?!" That's NOT an actual question. It is a comment about your inferiority. If they were honest people, they would say, "Why would you do/say/think/be/choose that YOU STUPID IDIOT?!" Again, you will know when you're being interrogated when you get that uncomfortable feeling at the midline (Solar-Plexus Chakra). This is what happens when people try to manipulate us, and I don't know about you guys, but I certainly trust my own gut instincts a lot more than I'll ever trust another human bieng... I trust ME FIRST! Again - you will sense that they are asking you questions, but NOT out of a sincere desire to understand your point of view, but out of a desire to tear down your reality to suit their needs. "Why would you say that?!" "Why would you take that class in college?!" "What's the matter with you?!" Note that those aren't "questions" at all. If you look closer, they are coming right out and telling you that you're STUPID. You see, they aren't interested in other people's wisdom, although they're good at ACTING as though they are! You'll often hear them say, "I'm just trying to help you." But helping you is usually the last thing on their minds. They are attempting to dominate and control you, but DISGUISING it as "help." They do this out of a need to feel important, superior, and stronger because deep down, they're really afraid that they are inferior. That's what "machismo" really is - it is fear-based fake confidence. They want to be seen as "alpha", or ABOVE other people. This is why the 'seduction community' often talks about having "Higher Value". Psychiatrists label them with "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and joke among themselves that there are none because they never come to therapy. "Higher Value" doesn't exist, except on a material level. We all have the same "value", we're all equals - the only difference between us is what we do with the 24 hours that "Creator" gives us. Interrogators do not understand what the word Honor means because they're identified purely with Ego. Evergy Vampire #4 - The "Intimidator" While Interrogators see life as a GAME, INTIMIDATORS see life as a WAR. As such, Intimidators are easy to spot. These are the macho's, the control freaks, the bullies, the paranoids, the authoritarians, the "alpha males", the rage-aholics - you name it. The reason they act this way, just like with all of the energy vampire types, is out of FEAR. They are afraid that others are trying to take their power away from them and that they won't be loved or get what they want. Very often they are still playing out an old unresolved childhood sexual abuse drama. (ALL abuse is sexual abuse, simply because we are sexual beings. If your mother held you in her arms and secretly wished that you had not been born, THAT is sexual abuse!) They intimidate others into giving them money, love, attention, etc. by being judgmental, smart-alecky, cocky, sarcastic, aggressive, dominant, loud, angry, violent, self-centered, etc. When in the presence of other Intimidators, the interaction can often escalate to arguments and violence. An interesting thing happens with Intimidators. When they notice that they aren't able to control or bully you into submission, they will often SWITCH into a "Poor Me". Instead of using threats, they might try to use guilt instead. Poor Me's will also "switch" from time to time and become aggressive when they are not getting the pity they are craving. Perhaps you can remember a time when your "sweet" ex-girlfriend or boyfriend went from crying and begging to RAGE and YELLING. As such, an Aloof will often turn into an Interrogator, and an Interrogator will often turn into an Aloof when they realize they can't control you. Poor Me's and Intimidators usually "evolve" into Aloof's and Interrogators when you think about it. As they become more educated and clever, they leave behind the old "Jerry Springer Show" mentality and start manipulating people in more clever, suave, and subtle ways. Energy Vampire #5 - The Boaster and Bragger "Look at how cool, clever, and lovable I am!" is the unspoken message that they want you to hear, as they go on and on and on about their past accomplishments. More often than not, they are LYING, or at least exaggerating. Boasters and Braggers have deep-seated abandonment issues manifesting itself as an addiction to approval and praise. You will find that they usually had a mother or father who left them when they were very young. If the parents didn't actually physically leave them, they most certainly weren't very loving and emotionally available. By the way, in my opinion THIS is what the seduction community really means when they teach their students to have a "routine-based game". They encourage men to tell "canned stories". They want you to lie, exaggerate, and brag about your accomplishments so you can demonstrate your supposed "higher value". And while there is nothing wrong with making yourself more interesting by telling entertaining stories and jokes, I highly recommend that you use your *OWN* stories and jokes. There is no need to lie. In fact, if you want to repel women and send them running, start bragging. How To Handle An Energy Vampire: The same way we handle ALL of our relationships! "Unconditional Love MINUS Putting Up With Crap (manipulation) = HAPPY!" I personally advocate a Zero-Tolerance Approach to Dating and Relationships. But, since most humans fall into one or more of the above categories, I designed a tell-it-like-it-is relationship program that I call "The Girlfriend Training Program". > You can check it out right here - http://www.ideagasms.net/ideagasms/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=83 As usual, before deciding to *ever* confront anyone under any circumstances, I recommend letting go of Anger (which is an unconscious state) and replacing it with Compassion (which is a conscious, fully-awakened state of being). If you have "The Girlfriend Training Program", you better be using the 5D Compassion Formula BEFORE ever confronting or "training" someone... I've been doing a lot of Phone Coaching recently, and I am finding out that some of you never bothered to use it - lazy dumbasses, you know who you are Reading is NOT enough - *EXPERIENCE* is the only way to attain true wisdom. If anyone is interested in Phone Coaching, click here for info - http://www.ideagasms.net/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=111 Again, with all of the above Energy Vampires, it is perfectly okay to tell them that you are BUSY. Because you ARE too busy to listen to garbage. No need to JUDGE them, just send them lots of LOVE! More than anything, Energy Vampires need love. And by "love" I don't mean you should allow yourself to be manipulated by them. But judging them doesn't help anyone either - perhaps if they had more people who loved them in the first place, they wouldn't be acting the way they are. These psychological and energetic "blueprints" are based in low self-esteem. If you have any of these energies within yourself (you do, it's just a matter of degree), the cure is to LOVE AND HONOR YOURSELF. THE most challenging and "crazy" thing you will ever do is to love yourself. Namaste, Stephane www.ideagasms.net PS - This article was inspired by "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. |
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_________________ "Love is the only truth" A wise man once said: "The best way to predict the future, is to invent it" - so Now Ladies and Gentleman welcome to the future... (by Pendulum) |
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Soul_Love
active user
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Easy,
Get this pendant it will help more than you know. It could pull you out of your "rut". http://psychichelps.com/jn_anti-depression.htm SL |
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_________________ "He who is persistent will realize God. So try your best to make meditation a regular experience in your life." ~ Paramahansa Yogananda |
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Easy
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Hi there... thank you for your answers
@ Monolith: I do think I'm an Energy Vampire too, but actually it's not on purpose to want others to give me energy or whatever... and for me right now it's just getting over the lovesickness and finally open my heart so I'm not an Energy Vampire anymore...! Klar soweit @ SL: Sounds good, really... although I prefer the way "from the inside"... 'cause if I take meds or wear a ring... what's the difference? I mean, it's from the outside, you know? And if I stop wearing the ring or stop taking the meds everything's as it was before... guess I'd give it a try if I had those 139$ "left"... |
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Der Monolith
active user
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Alles Klar!
Stick to your path, Easy. Sometimes external stimulation is useful, sometimes not. Choose what suits you. |
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_________________ "Love is the only truth" A wise man once said: "The best way to predict the future, is to invent it" - so Now Ladies and Gentleman welcome to the future... (by Pendulum) |
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Easy
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Still trying to open my heart... folks, why is it that complicated if we're all love :-/?
Ok, maybe I just don't believe in it... and other people telling me "I've experienced it..." doesn't help of course... I'd need to feel it myself... It's all right Soul Love, I thank you very much for your advice... I just wanted to have... you know some kind of advice I can afford, you know... and that maybe even helps me preventing happening the same things again and again... |
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Der Monolith
active user
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Many people claim, they´ve openend their heart.
Dr. George King (a great yoga master) claims, that once you´ve fully opened your heart you are capable of levitation. So, I think most people who say they opened their hearts(but havent experienced levitation) have PARTIALLY opened this energy center. And this already helps to get some old issues out of the way, that are blocking the "love valve". But really fully opening the heart is a long journey, which will finally lead to the rising of Kundalini. @SL, nice to see you ´round here have you already tried the jewelry of this page? the energizer ring looks cool. blessings to all of you |
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_________________ "Love is the only truth" A wise man once said: "The best way to predict the future, is to invent it" - so Now Ladies and Gentleman welcome to the future... (by Pendulum) |
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Soul_Love
active user
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Der Monolith,
The rings and pendants from that website are getting rave reviews from those of us online that are trying them. I ordered the Athelitc performance pendant and will have it at the end of July. So we will see, but so far, everyone loves them. The man who makes them seems to have the ability to infuse these items with power... and they do indeed work. Easy, One of the things when it comes to love, that I've read is that when we search for love, and I'm sure all of use do this in our lifetimes, so I'm including myself here. What we're really searching for is the ... love of God, even though we don't know this. Most people, or maybe only some people, find that soulmate that can really make us feel wonderful. But in the long run, at some point in time, we start the search again. If you dig really deep, you might "realize" this too, that the real love we wish to "have" is that of our creator, or God, or whomever you wish to call Him/Her/It... etc. Maybe it's time to practice unconditional love to really get yourself somewhere or at least approach a place in your heart where you feel true love. Another good idea is to practice meditation, since in this state your thoughts are calm and centered, from that place it's much eaiser to get the love feeling flowing. SL |
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_________________ "He who is persistent will realize God. So try your best to make meditation a regular experience in your life." ~ Paramahansa Yogananda |
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kostyazen
Site Admin
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Wow! Easy, nice questions. Also you look very nicely in the way you comment on other people answers.
You do the most important thing -- you ask questions. And the answers are right around here. one year ago Rick (Shalala) talked about "Imagining that everybody loves you". I didn't pay much attention to this idea at that time. But then Louis (Tortue) also wrote about almost same experience of imagining that every girl in the school loves him! It makes a lot of sense now. What you send out -- imagining that everybody loves you -- that is going to be what you create. Simple? Yep!!! Another piece from Louis on this method. |
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_________________ Found recently that smiling makes sending Love easier! Just smile and see how easy it goes! Books on Love and meditation by Klaus Joehle. My blog |
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Easy
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Hi kostyazen
Thank you very much for your answer! I've been reading through those topics and I was quite fascinated about the "results" others (especially Tortue Does "feeling loved by everybody" also work without being in the "theta-state" as Tortue proposes? 'cause to be true I'd not know how to enter this state... Guess that's the major problem... I can't imagine others to really love me... because I don't love myself, that way, there must be something wrong about people loving me Or maybe part of the problem is, I can't others ("everybody") imagine to love me, because I don't "love" everybody myself... I mean there are also people out there I'm really having problems with :-/ PS: I know this doesn't belong here but somewhere (I don't even exactly remember where...) I found this description about erasing clouds... is it difficult |
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Der Monolith
active user
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A lot of questions...
I´ll try to answer a few. being in the theta state enhances i.m.o. every form of meditation. to get in the theta state , you can use several techniques, I´m sure you´ll find some here: http://psychic101.com/ you can also try to get into the alpha state first, which is not as deep trance as theta. but in General, feeling loved should also be possible in the normal state.
maybe you start filling yourself with love, before you focus on other people The gadgets erasing clouds are called "Cloudbusters". You´ll find it on google... |
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_________________ "Love is the only truth" A wise man once said: "The best way to predict the future, is to invent it" - so Now Ladies and Gentleman welcome to the future... (by Pendulum) |
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Easy
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@ Der Monolith:
>>maybe you start filling yourself with love, before you focus on other people Very Happy << Guess you're right :-/ maybe it's the only way to solve all other things being concerned by not loving myself (enough/that much...) Why is it so difficult to love oneself? I mean, I once read a book by... Cheri Huber, a buddhist and she said that we're "taught" not to love ourselves... our parents were taught to judge themselves, as their parents were and so on and on... Ok now... releaser of my problem didn't fall in love with me, but just some days ago I got to know he's just fallen in love with another girl... ouch ouch ouch... I'd beg you to send me some love, I know this is just a lesson and as it is not a new one maybe some love helps me overcoming this pattern finally |
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Tortue
active user
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A study showed that healers have better results when they are themselves feeling happy and loving, you can hear more about that in that Podcast http://media.libsyn.com/media/kellyhowell/TOTM_38LynneMcTaggart.mp3
Yep, I recently hear a best selling song the lyrics are very depressing they go like this: You are Nobody Until Somebody Love you ! How crappy is that ? |
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_________________ http://www.LouisYagera.com/ Klaus book Facebook group http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=7759617753 ![]() |
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Easy
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@ Tortue:
>>Yep, I recently hear a best selling song the lyrics are very depressing they go like this: You are Nobody Until Somebody Love you ! How crappy is that ?<< Yes and that's the thing we're all taught from the beginning... that's the reason I guess why so many people are searching for a partner desperately... Thank you Tortue for the link, gonna listen to it |
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Der Monolith
active user
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I think this conditioning of people to search on the outside for what they want is required by our (sick)society-system to work. If it wouldnt condition everyone to look for happyness/love etc. on the outside, more people would start meditating(searching on the inside).This would lead to Noone buying (that much)stuff anymore, consumation stagnating, material goods losing importancy.
And the leaders of our sick system would wonder and spin their heads ... so In order to break the structure up, introspection is essential. Best wishes to Easy, and may Tortue find his Nr.1 horse |
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_________________ "Love is the only truth" A wise man once said: "The best way to predict the future, is to invent it" - so Now Ladies and Gentleman welcome to the future... (by Pendulum) |
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| Lovesickness |
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